Things I learned from my 23 year old self

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So, every year I write a post about the things I experienced as a x year old. On Saturday the 21st, I reached another milestone! So buckle up children, it’s gonna be a long one.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds
I talked about this quite a lot, but my grandpa unfortunately died on the 31st of August, a month and 10 days after my birthday. The last time I saw him was on my birthday. Mind you, I didn’t want to see him in the hospital, because I wanted to remember him happy, not sick, because I was with my late grandma the day she died and I had nightmares about it for weeks, and I didn’t want to have nightmares about my grandpa too. I was incredibly close with my grandpa, so it hit me really hard when he did die. And I’m still not over it. I can’t talk about him without choking up, I can’t see his picture without getting sad, and I still feel like I did when he just died. Maybe it’ll get better next year, but not my 23rd year of life.

20180225_131507Moving in together is heaps of fun
On a brighter note, in September 2017, my boyfriend asked me to move in with him. We were sitting in an Irish pub, in Amsterdam, and I was crying because I just lost my grandpa, so that was a load of fun, haha. But we moved in together, and life has been so much better ever since! It’s so nice to have a place of your own, and to share it with the person you love the most.
20180305_094519(0)Kittens are the best thing ever and I want 290
Ok, not literally, but we got Mathilda in September as well, and she has improved all our lives so much! Our little Wijn was left alone a lot of the time because I worked 3 days a week, and my boyfriend worked (and still does) about 40 hours a week, so we felt she needed a friend. I came across Mathilda, we got her, and she’s my little baby. She made me happier, she made Wijn happier and she made their papa happier!

Not all doctors are bad!
If you read my blogpost about my 21st, you know that my experience with doctors isn’t the greatest. I went with several issues to the hospital, and long story short: my doctor told me I’m just pretending and nothing was wrong. I was furious. Absolutely furious, because I wasn’t! I started to believe the doctors and never really mentioned my pain anymore. BUT my boyfriend kept on saying that I should go again, but now in the city we live in. My GP always believed me, so it wasn’t their issue, it was the hospital, so I got checked out at the hospital in our city and after 10 MINUTES they diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. And with that, it explained my ADD, my IBS and the rosacea I suddenly had, the depression and the anxiety. It is all connected. All my issues, all my pain, all my problems are connected with ONE thing that I got misdiagnosed on! I’m not happy that I’ve got it, but I’m happy that it has a name, and that I’m NOT pretending and making it up. Fibro to me is waking up and not being able to walk a whole day. My tailbone moves, so it gets dislocated, so my entire back gets bruised. I can’t do certain things, because I’m just too scared to do so. I wake up with so much pain in my neck that I can’t move my neck anymore. I wake up and getting out of bed takes me 5 minutes because everything just hurts too much. I can’t go out for dinner, because I’m too afraid my stomach will act up. The skin on my face HURTS because my rosacea is being an asshole. My knees swell up, and just suddenly stop working and I’ll just fall. And it’s so shitty because you are not only a burden to yourself, but also to others. My boyfriend sometimes needs to carry me upstairs, because I can’t walk anymore. I know he will do it, I know he does it with love, but it just feels so shitty to do so. I can’t go and eat at a friend’s because I can’t eat a lot of things and it’s just awkward to get a stomach aches when you are somewhere else other than home. This is going to be the rest of my life, and I’m okay with it! I’m not upset, because I knew I would always have this, because I always had this. Apparently, mine is caused by stress, and it gets worse when I’m stressed, which is fun when you are like the most stressed person ever haha! I’m just really glad it finally has a name, and I’m finally believed!!

I love my job
I work at a bookstore, not an official one, but I sell books and dvds, and all kinds of fun things. I love to reorganize our bookshelves, I love most of our costumers (there are always a few butts to ruin it for the rest of them!), my coworkers are amazing, and I just love it so much!!

I apparently really love knitting
I always wanted to learn how to knit, I don’t know why, but I always wanted to. I only made a scarf, not the most beautiful one, but I made it for my brother as he works behind a desk. And currently I’m working on a blanket. I just really love to knit! It gives me so much peace and de-stresses me so much, it’s great. Who would’ve thought that at 23, in 2018, I would learn how to knit??? I’m really excited about it and hopefully I will get better at it!!

So, that’s it basically, my 23rd year was eventful, but not eventful at the same time. I’m feeling really optimistic about my 24th year of life, and hopefully next year, I will be able to write about all the positive things that happened in the coming year!! 🙂

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